Jobs Hetalians Should Never Enroll
by Nyapoop14
Summary: Basically jobs that the Hetalia characters should never ever take for as long as they live and they live for a long time! . A job per chapter! Rated T for Romano's and England's potty mouths. Hope you enjoy it :D
1. Italy and Romano

**Hey guys! I've just randomly decided to do this so I hope you like it! I came up with this chapter with my best friend so Thank you :D anyways, hope you enjoy this ;D Remember to review and read my other fanfics to all you Hetalia fans :D**

**Hetalia is owned by the fabulous Himapapa**

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**Italy and Romano**

"Hey Romano, I've gotten a job! Actually, more like we" Italy jumped up and down in front of his elder brother who was staring at him. Romano, who was eating pasta right now, dropped his fork and jumped out of his seat.

"What do you mean _we_?" He demanded an explanation. He never intended to get a job, he was running a country with his younger brother after all.

"Well, I wanted to do a job just for fun, so I decided to a job interview and I got hired. But I didn't want to do it alone so I made them hire you"

"WHAT?"

"It'll be fun!" Romano scratched his head. Oh, what a brother he had. But, he was the elder brother so he, apparently, have to take the responsibility.

"Ahhh fine, what job is it?"

"We're pilots!" Romano stared at his little brother, his mouth gapping open.

"WHAT?"

"Well, we _have_ been fighting at wars with fighter jets and helicopters." Italy stopped, remembering something that he was supposed to say. Then it hit him, "Oh, and we have to be there in thirty minutes"

"WHAT!"

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-20 minutes later-

"I can't believe that the flight leaves in two hours not thirty minutes" Romano was in the airport with his little brother next to him. He arrived early due to his fast packing skills and Italy's driving skills. He grumpily dragged his mini suitcase on board the plane while cursing quietly to himself.

"Are you okay Onii-san?" Italy asks.

"Of course I'm not okay! You just gave me a job without me acknowledging it, said that the flight leaves in thirty minutes instead of _two_ hours, made me pack real quickly, made you accidently hit an old woman, and worse of all, we're flying to the potato head's place." Romano growled.

"Please don't say that about Ger- I mean Ludwig's place" Italy was careful not to use countries name in the airport.

Italy and Romano was now boarding the plane. Once they got in they saw… girls. Well, that lightened Romano's mood. The girls were indeed Italian and their flight attendants. Then, a brunet approached the two brothers holding a clipboard with a bunch of papers on top of it.

"You two must be Feliciano and Lovino Vargas am I correct?" the girl said. The two brothers looked at the girl and nodded. "Well, we're fixing up the place first so guys should go to the cockpit and look at the instruction manual for help. Wow, you guys must be professional considering you don't need to do a practice run."

"And cute too" a blonde walked to the brothers and rests her hand on the brunette's elbow. The brunette blushed and hid her face behind the stacked clipboard.

"Ummm… sorry about that, my friend here is ummmm… talkative" The brunette said shyly.

"What's your name?" Italy asked the shy brunette.

"My name is Lexi and my shy friend here is Maria" The blonde said with a triumphant smile.

"Well, we see you guys soon then?" Romano winked at the two girls. The brunettes face is now burning red.

Italy and Romano walked to the cockpit and sat down. They left their small luggage with the girls to put away, the same girls who were now gossiping about how cute they looked.

"Ummm… it's not that bad." Romano sighs. "But the only problem is how to fly this stupid thing." Italy looked down under his chair and got out the instructions manual. It was a filmy piece of paper. (Ahhh, Italian instruction manuals; It's only a textbook when it comes to Italian dishes.)

"Okay, it said to push the green button to start, yellow to land, and the switch that looks like this for emergencies" Romano read the list out loud.

"See, it's not that bad!" Italy said while looking at all the controls on the plane.

* * *

After two hours or so, all the passengers were seated in their seats as the plane safely took off. It was a two hour journey from Rome, Italy to Berlin, Germany.

It was presently eight o'clock at night and it was time for the passengers to have dinner.

"Okay, now is time for dinner! Good news, we're serving PASTA for dinner!" Italy spoke to the microphone. They were only one hour away from their destination. Romano was happily steering the plane while looking at the night sky. _Ahh, _Romano thought, _It's not that bad actually._

"Mr. Vargas, do you copy?" Romano and Italy turned their heads to the radio between them and pressed a silver coloured button.

"Which one?" Romano asked.

"Both of you! Mayday Mayday! Mayday Mayday! We have a pr…" Before the man could speak, Romano cuts him off.

"Wait, what are you talking about? Today is June fourth and it's night time! Don't you know, dammit?" Romano scowls at the radio.

"Wha? No I mean there's something I need to tell you!"

"Why don't you say so?"

"I did I…"

"Ummm… nii-san… THERE'S A PLANE INFRONT OF US!" Italy yelled and pointed at the plane three metres in front of him. Romano quickly took the wheel and steer right, making the plane spin 360 before resting at its original plane. Italy hurriedly grabbed the microphone and spoke.

"Ummm… we have a slight problem with the plane. Please return to your seats and quickly put your seatbelts on. Remember; barf bags are on the seat in front of you!" Italy quickly turn of the microphone and looked at his pissed of brother.

"Why didn't you tell us that there was A FREEKING PLANE right in front of us?" Romano shouted at the radio.

"I tried! You didn't let me fi…" The poor guy was again cut off by the angry Italian. (Who was he? C-C-C- Cana- Alaska?)

"What plane was that?"

"Lufthansa" the radio replied as quickly as possible, scared of being cut off again. Romano clenches the wheel tighter and tighter as a monstrous aura surrounds him. Before the wheel could break into tiny pieces, Italy told Romano another bad news.

"Nii-san… WE'RE GOING DOWN!" Romano snapped out of his anger and looked at his twin brother. Their emotions were the same, scared out of their lives. The plane tipped down diagonally as its speed increase beyond normal. The two Italy brothers hugged themselves to death, screaming.

As the plane gets nearer and nearer to the ground each second, Italy snapped out of his scared state as he saw a familiar house.

"Look nii-san, that's Germany's house! I can tell because he always keeps his lawn clean" Italy pointed at the small speck of house.

Romano looked at the house Italy pointed too. Romano slowly forms a devilish grin on his face as he takes back his precious steering wheel. Then… well, I think you guys can guess what happens next. Let's just say, a German's beer collection and neat lawn was no more.

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**Me: Hey everyone! Hope you liked the story :D**

**Romano: Of course they wont like it! The main characters nearly died!**

**Me: oh no, you didn't die. You pressed the switch thingie to eject you and the passengers seats remember?**

**Italy: It was good timing as well!**

**Germany: MY HOUSE!**

**Prussia: MY BEER COLLECTION! **

**Romano: aww stop whining! **

**Me: ahh... don't worry you Germans, I don't think the Italians will ever fly again (I hope)**

**Italy: Oh, who are you going to write about next, Nya? **

**Me: ummm... I think it's Russia. **

**Russia: me? Yay! **

**Me: well, we'll see you soon Russia. On to the next chapter!**

**Germany: MY HOUSE! **

**Me: There, there Germany. -patting Germany's back-**

**Romano: -evil grin- hehehehe**


	2. Russia

**Hey everyone :D this is chapter two of Jobs Hetalians Should Never Enroll :D I was so surprised when I posted this the night before and so many reviews and Favourites! I'm soo happy :D thanks you awesome people. well, hopefully not as awesome as Prussia :P Remember to review and read my other fanfics please :D **

**Hetalia is owned by Himapapa :D**

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**Chapter 2**

**Russia**

Russia was walking in the street of Paris, France. He was going to the usual world meeting that is held up in France and was admiring the Eifel tower and smells the sweet aroma of different French food.

Then, a man wearing a brown suit bumped into him. The man fell down and looked at the tall Russian man. Russia saw as his briefcase opened and bottles of shampoo fell on the ground. Some of the bottles were opened so the liquid came pouring out.

"Oh mon dieu! Mon shampooing, il fuyait!" the French man screamed while gathering what's left of his bottles of shampoo on the ground.

"Ummm…" Russia looked down on the man, confused. The man looked up at the confused Russian and stood up.

"You spilled all ze zhampoo. Now you muz pay me back witz ze money!" the French man shouted at Russia.

"Money? I don't have any right now" Russia said.

"Vell then, you muz pay me back by selling all thiz shampoo door to door!" the French man shoved the zuitcaze of zhampoo to Russia and walked away.

"Once you zell one hundred euroz of zhampoo, you can meet me back here to give me ze money, oui?" the French man called behind him, leaving a confused yet angry Russian behind. Russia sighs and looks down at the suitcase filled with shampoo. This must me the extras. Russia looked down at the price. It was only nine euros, very cheap. He now has to double the work because 'he spilled' half of them.

"I shouldn't kill him, just for big sister. She doesn't want me to torture a person for three weeks… ahh…" Russia sighs. He looked down at his attire. He was wearing an ordinary suit that was meant to be for the _world meeting. _Russia sighs and looked for the nearest house to ring the bell first.

After walking for a while, he finally found a decent looking house. He walked up to the font steps and rings the doorbell. Six seconds later, a man with a curly black moustache, a huge stomach, black hair, and is wearing a red polo and jeans. He seems to be an ordinary father because behind him was two little girls sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Bonjour?" The man spoke to Russia.

"Bonjur…" Russia tried to mimic his French, "Ummmm… I'm selling shampoo and I wanted to know if you want one."

"Shampooing?" The man replied with a French accent. Russia nod in agreement. The guy looked at Russia for a while, and then slams the door on his face. Ooohh… bad decision French person.

Russia's evil aura exploded and swarms around him like little dust particles. Russia creates a malevolence smile and rang the doorbell again, this time with more force. The same French man opened the door to see Russia's death looking eyes staring at him. The French man shivered and started sweating like crazy.

"Ummmm…" the man stared at Russia, scared out of its wits.

"I'm going to ask again, da?" the man nodded, "I'm selling shampoo and I wanted to know if you want two?"

"I-I thought it was one…" the man shivered. Russia took another step and starred into the man's eyes.

"I said _two!" _Russia's voice turned deeper and scarier. The man nodded and quickly took out his wallet. "That would be forty euros, da?" The man nodded and gave Russia fifty euros before taking off with the shampoos and locking the door. Russia shrugged and took off to other houses.

After twenty houses, Russia is now carrying two hundred euros in his pocket. He's now walking towards the spot that he and the man met. Russia saw the man and walked towards him handing him the money. The man starred at the two hundred then at Russia.

"Oh mon dieu! You're a pretty good zale's man for an _idiot_!" the man kept staring at the money, not knowing the angry Russian behind him. The French man shivered at a cold feeling and turned around to find Russia, glaring at him.

"Can you please repeat that, da?" Russia told the man in his deep terrifying voice. The man quivered and… well… I don't think this should be described to all of you young (not innocent) readers. So I guess I'll just say this, the French man was scarred mentally and physically.

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**Me: okay, hope you guys like it!**

**Russia: of coarse they liked it... I'm in it after all, da? **

**Me: ummm... right... anyways...**

**French Guy: -shivering in the corner- scary, tres scary!**

**Russia: hehehe... **

**Me: right... good luck French man. **

**Russia: who's next Nya?**

**Me: well, next is the AWESOME Prussia and the ANNOYING Hunga- wait... these aren't my words! Prussia! **

**Prussia: Kesesesse... **

**Hungary: -whacks Prussia on the Head- Idiot!**

**Me: so, next is Prussia and Hungary! **

**Hungary: wait... I'm actually with him in the next chapter...!**

**Prussia: and that's a problem?**

**Me: Cya all next time! Don't fight you two!**

**Hungary and Prussia: NOT FAIR!**


	3. Hungary and Prussia

**Hey everyone! I'm terribly sorry for not updating this sooner :( I truly am SORRY! :( And to make it up to you, I'm aking this chapter longer than the others... I think :P Hope you enjoyed this chapter with Prussia and Hungary :D Remember to review and read my other fanfics please! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorite, followed this story! Wow! Thanks You Guys! :)**

**I do not own Hetalia!**

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**-Hungary and Prussia-**

"I don't get why I have to be stuck with you!"

"That goes the same for me!"

Hungary and Prussia walked down the empty street of Germany. Why are they together you ask? Well, Hungary just made pasta in Austria's house and wanted to give it to Italy but it turns out that Italy wasn't home, so she thought that maybe Italy was at Germany's house so she went there. Once she got there, she was about to ring Germany's doorbell when the door swung open and pushed Hungary and the pasta that was in her hands to the floor. It turns out that Prussia was the one who did that and he too fell, but on top of Hungary. Both of them were on the ground, smothered in pasta sauce. Turns out, Germany was mad at Prussia for drinking all of his beer again so he chased him around the house. Once Hungary's eyes opened to meet Prussia's eyes, she immediately took out her frying fan and whack Prussia with it. Italy, who saw everything, cried because his pasta was ruined. Germany, who was furious, ordered Hungary and Prussia to get more pasta so Italy could stop crying.

That's how it happened.

"I don't get why I have to go with _you_!" Hungary emphasises on the _you_ part.

"That's because you have money and knows where to get the best pasta for Italy" Prussia grumbled.

The two walked in silence to the supermarket. Hungary, thankfully, wore a white tank top underneath her maid dress so it wasn't covered in ketchup. She was wearing Italy's blue shorts and his small blue trainers. Prussia was wearing black trousers and a white shirt with matching trainers.

"Couldn't you get change in more appropriate clothing than that?" Hungary scanned the Prussian.

"I still look AWESOME in these anyways!" Prussia protested. Hungary gave her loudest sigh and kept walking, hands in pockets.

Suddenly a man wearing a suit was walking in front of them, didn't see where he's going, and bumped to a pole. Hungary looked at Prussia with a we-need-to-help-him look. Prussia sighs and followed Hungary to the man. Hungary and Prussia bend down and helped the man up. Piles of papers scattered on the ground and a brief case wide open.

"Are you okay, sir?" Hungary asked. The man looked at Hungary and sighs.

"I wish I am. My best physical education teacher quit on me and now I need to find another one in ten minutes! Ten minutes till the next period which is P.E!" the man looked at his watch and began to panic. Hungary looked at the brunet with glasses and smiled.

"Wish we could help b-"

"- well be glad to become your temporary P.E teachers!" Hungary cuts Prussia from saying anything else. Prussia's mouth hangs open.

"Really, you would do that? Thank you, thank you very much!" The man shook Hungary's hand. "May I ask you your names?"

Hungary nodded, "My name is Elizaveta Hedervary," Hungary pointed at Prussia, "and this is Idiot!"

"Hey! My name is the AWESOME Gilbert Beilschmidt!" Prussia quickly closed his mouth, but it was too late. Hungary smirked. Her plan was to make Prussia say his name so he agrees as well. Prussia gave death stares at Hungary who gladly returned it back.

_What nice people. And they're good friends as well,_ the man thought.

"Okay, shall I lead you to the school?" The man interrupted the 'starring contest'. Hungary smiled at him and nodded, dragging Prussia by the collar behind him.

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-At the school Gym-

"I can't believe Mr Collins ditched us!"

"I know! He's the only P.E teacher in this school!"

"Poor principal have to find a substitute for us"

"Shhh, someone's coming!"

"And here is the G- Oh, I'm so sorry children! I was showing your new substitutes the school and forgot about the time! Please excuse me!" the principal said. "Please welcome your substitutes, Miss Hedervary and Mr Beilschmidt"

Hungary and Prussia entered the room to see twenty five pairs of eyes staring at them.

"Hello there!" Hungary waved at the kids. She was wearing a white school t-shirt over her white tank top. Prussia wore the same t-shirt as Hungary but man's size. Black, blue and white were part of the school uniform so they don't have to change their trousers or shoes.

"I need to get back to work so I'll leave you with the kids. You have forty minutes left until next class. Don't worry kids; I'll try to find a new teacher soon. Bye!" And with that, the principal sprints down the hall, ignoring the running in the halls policy.

Hungary and Prussia looked back at the kids. "Okay, cya!" Prussia turned around and head for the door. Hungary turned to Prussia and pulled him back by the collar. Prussia lands down on his butt.

"Ow! What was that for?" Prussia asked standing up.

"You were going to ditch these kids? I'm ashamed of you! We're only going to be teaching for today and that's it! Wait… are you chickening out?" Hungary smirked.

"I never chicken out! I'm too AWESOME to chicken out!" Prussia protests.

"Well, prove it!" Hungary crossed her arms and smirked at the Prussian.

"Okay, fine!" Prussia face the kids, "Okay listen up! I will be your new sub for P.E today, understood?"

"Yes Mr Beilschmidt!" The students said in unison.

"Idiot!" Hungary giggled at Prussia who just noticed what he said. Again, Prussia gave death glares at the giggling Hungarian. Hungary knows that the Prussian always sticks to his words.

"Ummmm… Miss Hedervary…" A little girl with black pigtails raised her hand. Hungary looked at the little girl slowly stopped her giggling.

"Yes? Oh, and please just call us Elizaveta and Gilbert." Hungary finally said, whipping the small tear that formed in her eyes.

"Ummm… my name is Rose, we're in grade five and I'm the class rep. of the class… ummm… what are we going to do for P.E?" the girl shyly asked. Hungary nodded at the young girl.

"Ummm… let's see… what did you do for P.E yesterday?"

"Ummmm… we just finished out volleyball unit…" Rose responded.

"So, then what's next?" Prussia asked.

"The teacher said that we get to choose today" the girl said with a little more confidence than before. Hungary smiled at the kinds and placed her hands on her hip.

"What would you guys like to play?" The kids looked at each other and shrugged.

"How about we choose the first activity and the rest is up to you!" Prussia said.

"That's a good idea coming from you!" Hungary said sarcastically.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Prussia snapped.

"So Pr- I mean Gilbert, what would you like to do?" Hungary asked ignoring Prussia's comment.

"Nah uh uh, age before AWESOMENESS" Prussia smirked.

"Okay then!" Hungary sounded ticked off. She goes up to Prussia and put her arms around his waist. Then, she lifts Prussia off the ground and falls backwards while carrying Prussia with her. Prussia's head and shoulders hit, thank god there was a mat on the floor, a blue mat. Hungary then let go of Prussia, which sends him to flip face flat on the floor, and gently rose back up.

"And that was a wrestling move called the German Suplex. Girls, use it when a stupid annoying person bugs you. And you can't use it on your family members, only stupid and obnoxious people" Hungary smiled at the kids who nods their head.

"OY! What was that for?" Prussia, who was on the ground a minute ago, got back up and screamed at Hungary.

"Oh and boys, never ask a girl of her age if you value your life" Hungary said in a motherly tone, ignoring Prussia completely.

Prussia smirked. "Lizzie is being her usual self again! I'm so AWESOME I brought her back from girly world! Kesesesesesese!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hungary huffed. "I'm still girly! Well, maybe not…"

"Is it fun being yourself again?"

"Yeah, a little relaxing actually… wait… why do you care? You're the one that's always getting beat up by me!" Hungary grinned. Prussia turned red.

"T-That's not true! I'm too AWESOME to get beaten up by some stupid _girl_!" The last sentence turned on the evil aura that surrounds the girls.

"What do you mean by _stupid_…" a group of malevolence voices said in unison. Prussia, scared to death, ran. Unfortunately, he ran to a dead end. Soon, four of the girls in the room was each holding a skipping rope and tied Prussia to the wall. The guys, they stood and watch. Unlike Prussia, the guys in the room were smart enough to not get involve.

"Erm…*gulp*" Prussia, who was hanging on the wall, struggled to get out. Hungary and the other girls' aura came back to normal. Rapidly, Hungary was hit with a great idea. She quickly ran to the supply closet and pulled out a tray of different types of balls. She pulled the tray to where the students are and rummage through it.

"Ah, found it!" She smiled once she held volleyball in her clutches. Then she turned to the rest of the class, "Okay class, your rep. told us that you had a volleyball unit yesterday. Maybe I can show you all the sports involving balls, then you could choose which one you want" Everyone nodded and took their seats as Hungary demonstrates. Wait, there's no net… oh I remember, there's Prussia.

Hungary stood two and a half metres in front of Prussia, ball in hand. She smirked, "Okay kids, this is how you surf!" Hungary threw the ball in the air and smacks it down to- Oww!… that has got to hurt!

"Okay, that's volleyball! Now let's move on too… ah, football, my favourite!" Hungary grabbed the football off the basket and set it down at the same mark. "Remember to hit below. It always works if you hit below the chest!" She then extends her foot out and- OW! Oh… that… that looks really painful… ow… Poor Prussia.

"Miss Elizaveta!" Rose raised her hand.

"Yes, Rose?"

"Are you going to try all of the balls in the basket?"

"Well, it depends how much time we have…" Hungary happily thinks while she grabbed a basketball.

"Oh… because I really want to learn how to bowl… may we learn that? I really love bowling!" Rose's eyes twinkled with happiness. She's finally brave enough to speak a full sentence- wait. *Author re-reads the sentence* WHAT? Is this girl trying to really kill Prussia… Oh…my… god… owwwwww…

"NOOOOOOOO!" Prussia moaned only to get Hungary's huge grin as a response.

[The continuing part will not be viewed in here due to your pure, not really, innocent minds. And for the love of everything's living, please do not torture people the way that Hungary's doing… unless you really hate someone. It's sick and very painful! I think… I'm not so sure since I am not a guy. I guess it could be painful… No Prussian and pasta was hurt in the making of this fanfiction. Actually, I'm not sure of the Prussian but pasta was never hurt or wasted in this… Prussia… he'll live… maybe…]

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**Me: Hey everyone! Thank you for reading! Again, sorry for the very slow update! I'll try to update soon! Promise!**

**Hungary: That's okay Nya! We forgive you!**

**Me: Thank you Hungary! Just curious though, what actually happened in the end?**

**Hungary: Well, after being hit by a voleyball, football, basketball, tennis ball, and an American football, the period ends and one of the students called 911. Soon, Prussia was in the hospital and they had to call Germany so he came in and asked an explanation. I told him about the _stupid girls_ thing and he shook his head in dismay. One of the nurses over heard me and was about to drill Prussia's brain out, sadly she prevented from doing that. After two days in the hospital and two months of being traumatized of balls and sports, Prussia's back to normal. **

**Prussia: The docter LAUGHED AT ME! HE LAUGHED AT MY PAIN! Not awesome. **

**Hungary: HAHAHAHAHA you looked so priceless when I mentioned FOOTBALL!**

**Prussia: GYAH! Where?**

**Me: oh, did Italy get his pasta?**

**Hungary: Yeah, it turns out that Germany has extra at home... it was worth it though *smiles at the somewhat traumatized Prussian***

**Me: Yay! A happy ending!**

**Prussia: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY A HAPPY ENDING?**

**Me: go eat some wurst *throws wurst at Prussia* Okay, next up is our favorite micronation, Sealand!**

**Sealand: YAY! HA! I'm next Jerk England!**

**Me: Okay, see ya next chapter!**

**Sealand: It's all about meeeeee! **

**Me: Guys would you stop trying to kill each other! EEP! *covers Sealand's eyes* Hungary, get that frying pan away from Prussia's end! Prussia, not poking Hungary in the eye with your wurst stick! **

**Sealand: Why is it suddenly so dark?**


	4. Sealand

**Hey you amazing people! :D Thank you for reviewing this story... I didn't know it would be a hit with many people :D This really helps, thank you :D So this is chapter 4 with your favourite sea Micronation, Sealand! YAY! :D Whew! This chapter is a loong one... I think :P**

**Remember to review and read my other stories please :D**

**I do not own Hetalia!**

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**-Sealand-**

"What a great day, right Minty?" Sealand looked at his bunny-mint friend who was resting on his shoulders. After hanging out with England all day, Flying Mint Bunny decided to hang out with the one person she haven't hung out with much, Sealand. She nodded her response and they continue to walk down the streets of London. It was a great summer in the city and it hasn't rained in quite a while with means England is in a happy mood. But Sealand still has his sea blue umbrella just in case. Even though he lives with Finland and Sweden now, he and Norway still practices magic once in a while, until Denmark barges in which leads to a fist fight between the two. He's been raised by England before and continued his magic skills with Norway, that's why he can see Minty.

"Sealand, where are we going?" Minty asked. Sealand stopped walking and stuck out his tongue playfully.

"Actually, I haven't thought of that. I just wanted to breath the city breeze instead of the sea breeze once in a while" He smiled. "Maybe we could go and get some fish and chips? Oh, maybe we could explore Waterloo and ride on the London Eye? There are so many possibilities while it's still hot outside!" Minty sighs as Sealand began walking.

"So, where do you want to do first?" Minty asked once again.

"Ummm… maybe we could get something to eat? I'm famished!" Sealand rubbed his small belly and walked to the fish and chip restaurant he always goes to. Being small looking, sometimes the restaurant owners won't permit him to enter without an adult. But he always goes to this one and the owner knows him well, so it wasn't a bother.

"Hey Jack! Nice to see you!" Sealand waved at the grey haired man in the register. The old man looked like he was sixty. He was also bulky with his white apron around him. He was wearing blue trousers and a white t-shirt under the apron. Jack looked at the small boy and waved back.

"Hello Peter! Nice to see you too old' chap." He knew Sealand was a micronation, but with all the customers he had, he couldn't risk people noticing. He knew Sealand ever since WWII and he saw him roaming around the city looking exactly the same as twenty years ago. He asked once and promised Sealand that he'll keep the secret. "Fish and Chips as always?"

Sealand took his seat and smiled. "Isn't that the only thing you sell?"

Jack laughed. "I sell water too you know!" After cooking the order, he placed it on Sealand's table and sat across from him.

"Cheers!" Sealand said before gobbling up the small cut up fish. He plunged the silver fork down on a piece of chip and happily gave it to Minty. She gorged it up in one bite.

Jack starred at Sealand's shoulders. "So Peter, is Minty with you?" Sealand nodded. Jack was a magician back then, but then he retired when he hit old age. It gets complicated once you start to get tired easily. Now he runs a happy restaurant with his dead wife's picture placed in the counter.

Sealand gulped the food down before speaking again. "So, how's life Jack?" Jack frowned. Sealand sense the mood and was now concerned. "Jack, what's wrong?"

Jack sighs. "It's just that, my friend is a principal in a British School and his Geography teacher bailed on him. He needs to find a new teacher quick or he'll have to cancel Geography for the whole year!" Sealand's mouth fell open.

"No, not Geography! Then how will people recognize me-I mean the other countries? The students might think Asia as Africa or Russia as Germany! This is really bad, Jack! We need to do something!" Sealand panicked, making Minty jump of his shoulders from the sudden panic.

"I really want to help, but I need to find a substitute first. I called all my close friends but they're all busy. I want to help but I'm too old for this and I'm not familiar with Geography myself." Jack explained.

"But we need to find-" At this moment, Sealand's mind exploded with an idea. "Hey I know, why don't _I_ be the substitute teacher?" Sealand grinned.

Jack thought about it for a minute before slowly nodding. "You're idea might just work…But how will we convince the students about your age? The principal is willing to hire anyone with the knowledge of geography, even if the substitute is a hobo."

Sealand's eyes twinkled. "And I'm the right guy for this! I am a micronation after all! Who else would know about the world other than me?" _Okay, maybe China knows more… But this is my only chance to tell the future adults all about the mighty Sealand!_ "Oh, and I could just say I'm one of those smart kids who graduated early, or something like that"

Jack, surprisingly, agreed with Sealand's plan. "And it will only last a day… I hope… I'll help find another substitute while you're busy teaching the year nine students"

"Year nine?" Sealand said, a little nervous.

"Yup, year nine students. Don't you worry old chap, I'll try my hardest to find a permanent Geography teacher!" Jack gave Sealand a thumb up. Sealand gave Jack a week smile before nodding.

"I promise that I'll be the BEST Geography teacher the students ever encountered!" Jack and Sealand grinned at each other leaving Minty shaking the doubts she has on her head.

* * *

"Hey, have you heard? The principle might delete Geography from our schedule unless he finds a new substitute quick!"

"Whoa, really? I don't like Geography that much… Please let there be no sub coming!"

"What are you talking about? I love Geography! I don't want it to be deleted!"

"Shhh… I heard footsteps… someone's coming!"

"Quick everyone to your seats!"

Then, the wooden door opened to reveal a small messy blonde kid wearing a… sailor suit? The students glanced at each other's blunt expression before proceeding to look at the boy in front of the classroom, giving the students a huge grin.

"Hey, hey! My name is Peter Kirkland and I will be your new substitute Geography teacher!" Sealand exclaimed. The students looked at Sealand as if it's a joke. Sealand gave the kids a big thumb up as a response.

"EEHH!" the students gasp. Sealand giggled and glanced a small look at his right shoulder. There sat a very speechless Minty. She was glad that none of the students could see her sweat-drop. Apparently, after the conversation with Jack the Fish and Chips owner, they had to go and run to the school. To their predicament, the school was very close to the restaurant. Why Minty went along with this? Well, who can say no to puppy dog eyes?

Sealand looked around the room from left to right. "So, twenty four students in the class… cool!" Sealand was anticipated to teach as many students as possible about him-I mean the countries. It was a British school so they wore the same red and grey uniform. Sealand walked up to the centre where a small wooden desk stood. After looking around the room from a different view, Sealand spotted a hand raised by a brown haired boy with green eyes.

"Yes?" Sealand points at the boy.

"Ummm… Mr Kirkland… Are you really our substitute Geography teacher?" He asked.

"Yup! I'm one of those smart kids who graduated early!" Sealand smiled. The class nodded to what seems a reasonable reason. "Okay then, what did everyone learned yesterday?"

A girl with red hair and green eyes raised her hand. "Mr Kirkland, we learned about Europe yesterday" The girl said.

_Europe huh? Perfect!_ Sealand snickered to himself. "Okay class, today we're going to have a quiz about labelling the countries in Europe!" The class groaned. "What's wrong? You guys all live in England right? So it wouldn't be hard for you to label the countries?" Sealand shook his head and handed out the blank maps of Europe to each one of every student.

"Class, you have ten minutes to do this! Starting… from… NOW!" Sealand gestured the class to start as they scribble away with their pencils.

* * *

**-Ten Minutes Later-**

"Class, put your pencils down and hand the quiz papers forward!" Sealand happily ordered. The students groaned as they did what Sealand said.

Once Sealand retrieve the papers, he began scanning them. "Okay, let's see how all of you are-" His hands stopped moving. He scanned the papers much quicker than before then stopped again. His eyes twitched. "Okay, who wrote Germany in where Hungary's supposed to be?" He eyed the class until nearly everyone raised their hands.

"But Mr Kirkland, t-they look the same…" A boy with blonde hair and blue eyes said.

Sealand's eyes twitched again. Minty on the other hand, tried to hold the burst of laughter from coming out. "What do you mean they both look the same? Germany has France to his right, Netherlands above him, Switzerland below him, and Poland to his left! I thought you guys knew about the countries in Europe! Also, Ukraine is not above England!" Sealand pouted.

"Wait… There's a country named Ukraine?"

Sealand mentally face palmed himself. "Yes… And some of you forgot about the Baltics, Belarus, Greece, Romania, and… Russia! Everyone misplaced Denmark for Norway, Iceland for… France, and completely forgot about Finland and Sweden! And who put Egypt in Ireland?" Sealand ranted. The class tilt their heads down, ashamed. Sealand sighs. "Okay, all of you are in year nine for goodness sake! What did you learn for the past years of your school?"

"Our previous teacher didn't teach us much about this. Let's just say, he's not a very smart Geography teacher…" The red haired mumbled.

"And neither of you wrote where the micronations are! Gosh, you people really need to study!" Sealand said. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, the brown haired boy raised his hand.

"Ummm… what's a micronation?" Sealand gasps.

"Wait… you don't know about m-micronations…?" The whole class shook their heads. Sealand gasps louder as if a bullet hit his chest. He snapped out of the shock and looked at the confused students in the room. Minty was still trying to not conceal her laugh, but she will soon.

Sealand gave a deep, long sigh. "Micronations are small countries that are not yet recognized by the world. I mean, doesn't the name at least give you a clue?" Sealand said the obvious. "Sealand, Landonia, Seaborga, and Kuggelmuggle are-"

"Pfft! Kuggemuggle…"

Sealand eyed the student. "ARE some of the micronations in Europe. You should at least know Sealand!" The class shook their heads. Sealand twitched. "Sealand is located under England… you know, the country we're in right now… or are you not sure where England is?" The class room turned to a depressed aura within minutes.

"Sorry Mr Kirkland, we don't know where Sealand is…"

"But we know where Seaworld is!" The class start to giggle. Sealand gave a look at the blonde which caused everyone to stop.

Sealand sighs. _Goodness, I'm being like that Jerk England all of a sudden… Urgh! That makes me want to barf!_ Sealand shuddered. He looked back at the embarrassed group of teens and gave them a very small smile.

Still keeping the some-what awkward smile, Sealand turned to his right and pulled out the map of England over the other stack of maps hanging from above. "Okay, Sealand is located here in the English Channel." Sealand pointed his finger at the not very visible spot.

The red haired raised her hand. "Mr Kirkland… I can't see anything…"

"Oh, it's because this map is not very zoomed in on Sealand. But we all know it's located on the English Channel, now let's learn about Sealand shall we?" The class nodded, not wanting to divert their teacher's attention back to their very horrible quiz. Minty mentally reminds herself to tell Sealand about that. "So Sealand is a micronation which means, let's says it's a he, is not a country… _yet._ He was built in 1943 during WWII when it was The Allies versus The Axis Powers. Sealand was built to drop troops from England to fight in Germany. Well, after WWII ended, Jer-I mean England didn't have anything to do with Sealand anymore so Sealand declared his independence and is now striving away to become a country. That is a brief history of Sealand!"

The blonde raised his hand. "So Sealand is a… fort?" Sealand nodded. "Oh, I thought it was an Island in the middle of the English Channel"

"No one can make an island that fast you twit!" The red haired snapped. Blonde shrugged and went back to doodling."

Sealand smiled. "Yes, she's right!"

"So, what's the population in Sealand?" The brunet asked.

"A population of four people!" Sealand proudly said. The class soon burst into laughter. Sealand didn't join the laugh but stood there, starring at the students until they eventually stopped.

"W-Wait… you were serious?"

Sealand pace palmed. "I am! I would know since I was born their!" Sealand quickly covered his mouth, but it was too late. The information had already been out. The class blinked curiously at Sealand.

"So, are you the fifth citizen?" One guy asked.

"Ummm… I guess…" He said unsurely. "Anyway, back to studying…" Sealand faced the whiteboard and drew an exact replica of… him… I think that's how you describe it.

"Whoah! Sealand looks pretty cool!" Brunet said in awe. Sealand smiled and turned to the other student.

"Oh, teacher, can I ask you a question?" The blonde raised his hand. Sealand nodded. "Okay, this question has been bugging me the whole time… what's the country above America?" The other students nod their heads.

Sealand thought about it for a minute. "Ummm… Isn't it Alaska?" The class shrugged.

"Umm… Mr Kirkland, I think it starts with a… C… I think…" The red hair stated.

Sealand shook his head. "Nope, it's definitely Alaska… I'm sure of that…" Sealand crossed his arms. "Anyway, let's continue with Sealand!" He said happily.

"Mr Kirkland, so Sealand is not a country yet?" Sealand nodded. "Why wouldn't it be? It looked cool enough! Why don't we support Sealand?" The blonde yelled, secretly winking at his classmates. The class nodded as well. I mean, who wouldn't want to make their teacher happy so he doesn't have to grade their recent quiz papers and mail them to their parents? Sealand's eyes gleamed with happiness. _This is going perfectly! I'm so happy my plan worked!_

Minty, on the other hand, face palmed herself to the point of a visible red mark on her forehead.

"Okay class! Let's all have a Sealand Appreciation Day so w-"

"Oy Peter, I found a substitute just in time as well! Can you actually believe that I found an actual hobo who knows Geography? My friend the Principal said that I could hire him!"

"NOOOOOOOO! I WAS SOOOOO CLOOSEE! SOOO CLOOOSEEE!"

Finally, Minty burst out laughing until she nearly died. Oh she couldn't wait to tell England about this.

* * *

**Me: poor, poor Sealand... How are you doing buddy?**

**Sealand: not good... I was soo closeee... *sobs in the corner***

**Me: *pats Sealand's back* Tis okay, tis okay...**

**Minty: Hahahaha! That was soo funny! **

**Me: *Gave a glare**** at Minty* you're not helping you know...**

**Minty: sorry...**

**Me: So, hope you liked that chapter! **

**Sealand: why would they like that chapter? I failed my mission terribly! **

**Me: *gives Sealand chocolate bar* here... now go back tot sulking!**

**Sealand: finneeee... *starts sucking on the chocolate bar***

**Me: Okay, next chapter will be all about our favourite German-**

**Prussia: me again? You better give me a good story because chapter three was very VERY painful!**

**Hungary: sissy...**

**Me: No, not you! The other one!**

**Germania: me?**

**Me: No, not you-**

**Austria: Me?**

**Me: No, N- you're not even German! **

**Austria: I am! **

**Me: You're Austrian! Urgh!**

**Liechtenstein: Is it me?**

**Me: no honey, its-**

**Germany: I'm next Mein Gott!**

**Me: Took you so long! So anyway, next up is Germany! Wahoo!**

**Germany: ... yay?...**

**Me: -.- very enthusiastic... Any ways, until next time! AWAY!**


	5. Germany

**Hey everyone! ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry, ****I'm sorry for not updating this sooner! Three words: High School Sucks! I have soo much homework, projects, three tests in one day, quizzes! MY BRAIN'S GOING TO BLOW UP! My other excuse is that I updated two of my fanfictions in a month! GYAHHH! I can't wait till winter break! I can finally focuse on updating some of my stories! GYAH! **

**Okay, as promised, here's Germany! yay! I made this extra long for you guys! Hope you like it :D**

**Remember to review and read my other fanfics please! **

**I do not own Hetalia!**

* * *

**Germany**

"Another day, another problem" Germany sighs as he walk the street of his capital. His supposedly clam-quiet day was soon morphed to ugliness. For starters, Prussia and Italy decided to consume all the food in the German's house until emptiness was left in the fridge (not even the ice cubes was there). Then, Italy decided to hold a sleepover in the German's house with Japan, without the German knowing. When Japan arrived early, he was prepared to make mochi for the sleepover but he saw no ingredients so he started to break down crying (everyone will cry when your friend doesn't have food for a sleepover!). Italy tried to calm him down and told him that Germany will buy food soon. Thus start a group work of Prussia, Italy, and Japan in listing the grocery items. Instead of quarrelling between the two nations, Japan devised an easy and beneficial plan for the list so they wouldn't waste time in writing it.

"…'Food'…" Germany sadly read the shopping 'list' in hand. "Really, Japan? This was your compromise… mein Gott…" The German was having a major headache as he walk the calm street of Berlin. His attire is a plain white t-shirt, black trousers, and black shoes. He's definitely not prepared for this.

Hands in pockets, Germany walk to the nearest supermarket, breathing normally at the calm and quiet street. Well… peace doesn't last forever, right?

_Bump!_

Just then, German clashes his body with a man shorter than him, running in approximately the speed of Italy when he sees his pasta. And yes, that is quite fast. Germany fell on the ground and found himself staring at the man he bumped into. The man rubbed his brown hair and fixed his glasses to equilibrium. His navy blue eyes met Germany's sky blue eyes and immediately panicked. The instant he realised that he and the blond nation clashed, he immediately stood up and trudge his aching body to the German. Then, he held his hand out for Germany to reach and pulled him up. Once the two stood up right and straighten their clothes, brown haired man begins to talk.

"Entschuldigung, I'm really sorry! I didn't look where I'm going, Herr," brown haired looks at Germany sheepishly, hoping the German would accept his apology. Germany sighs and straightens his hair back.

"It's okay. Just, don't run in that fast speed again. Especially in a place like this," Germany sighs and shook his head.

The brown haired sighs. "I'm sorry again! It's just that, I'm looking for a person in a hurry," suddenly, an idea struck to the boy like Hungary's pan to Prussia's skull. The boy quickly took out a piece of paper from his pocket and scans the information printed on it. After a second later, the boy's gaze is back to Germany. "Erm, do you happen to know a man by the name of Ludwig Beilschmidth?"

Germany paled. This boy he just encountered somehow knows his name. Germany froze and kept staring at the boy who looks at him, clearly not understanding the situation he's in right now. _How does this boy know my name? More importantly, should I say that he's talking about me? Ach! Why am I always in this situation?!_ Germany starts a debate between himself until he fell upon a conclusion. Unfortunately, his mouth does not agree with his mind.

"Yes… I'm Ludwig Beilschmidth," Germany answers. _Why did I say that?! I'm not supposed to say that! I'm supposed to say 'No, I don't know who he is' to get out of this mess! This is not my day!_

Germany want to say that he was mistaken with the pronunciation or something similar; until he looks down to see the brown haired grinning at him with twinkling eyes and a smile that would make England the sunniest place in the world. What is he? Italian?

"Are you really, Ludwig Beilschmidth?" The boy asks again which Germany banefully answers with a nod. The boy begins to jump up and down in place like a little girl before staring back at Germany with those shiny eyes. "Then it's true! Those guys were right! I thought for a sudden that Ludwig Beilschmidth was made up or, even worse, someone not from this country!" Germany, not knowing what to say, calls the boy for his attention. After three tries, the boy finally notices the tall blond and stops his thoughts.

Germany cross his arms and furrow his eyebrows. "Wait for a minute… Why do you have my name? How did you get my name?"

The boy looks at Germany, smiling. "I met some guys on the way home two days ago; they told me about a man named Ludwig Beilschmidth who's famous for his job. They also told me that he's not famous but he does his job well-"

"Wait, wait… What do you mean by 'his job well'?" Germany hates it when people miss that little information when explaining. Goodness, this boy reminds him of Italy.

"Well, they told me that Ludwig Beilschmidth is an expert in dating advices," well… that's nice…

Germany repeats the last four words in his head over and over again. Stupid, clueless kid stares at the panicked German. That is not what people call Germany. In fact, no one calls him that at all! So, why-how-what?! Germany doesn't get what's happening AT ALL!

"Wa-wait… dating expert?" Germany's lips quivers. Boy nods, smile still intact.

"The people said that Ludwig is amazing at his job and will help everyone out for free! After hearing that, I spent two days looking for the guy and trying to say his name properly. Now, here you are!" The boy smiles at the panicked German, "Herr Beilschmidth, I need help with my love-"

"Wait, wait, wait! I'm sorry kid, but I think you've got the wrong person!" Germany waves his hands frantically, worry plastered on his face. "I'm not a dating expert at all!" Out of nowhere, a gust of depression sweep to the brown haired boy. After telling the boy the whole truth, Germany saw the depressed face he had. Unfortunately, being the nice person he is, he has to help his citizen…somehow.

Germany took a very deep breath, "B-but… I guess it's okay… if… if you need desperate help…" Instantly, the boy's doleful look transforms into happiness. Germany felt a pang of guilt to himself. That boy is one of the few people who become happy when he gets what he wants. Seriously, is he Italian?

"Really? Y-you'll help me with my love life?" The boy leaps again a few times before stopping at the depressed looking German. Ignoring the fact that Germany is confused and depressed, the boy continues to talk. "Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Lenz Beck. I live in Berlin and go to Berlin International High School. I'm seventeen and I'm good with computers and ace at weightlifting, even though I don't look like a weightlifter." Lenz scratch his head and chuckles to himself. Germany sees nothing amusing… though he's quite interested in finding out a boy who looks like a geek but weight lifts. He knows Berlin International High School, he pass the school on the way to his boss' office. "Anyways, I go to that school and after two months or so, I feel in love with the most beautiful girl in the world!"

Germany sighs, _he's love sick. That's why he has been looking around the city looking for me… there's no choice but for me to hep this confuse boy out… even though I have no idea what to do!_ "So, what does this girl look like?" He said in a surprisingly calm tone.

"Well, she has dark chocolate hair with matching colour eyes. The darkness of her hair goes perfectly with her light golden skin. She's usually seen with frilly orange skirt and a matching white t-shirt. She's the funniest and enthusiastic girl in school. The best part is, she doesn't put makeup on and it shows her peace coloured lips as it glows in the sunlight. She's like an angel from the sun!" Lenz describes to his heart content.

All Germany did is give him a weird question-marked look with a mixture of irritation. _What is this? A poem! I didn't ask him to imitate Shakespeare and form his own fairy tale over a simple description! _ Finally, the German had enough, "could you speed up to the point of her name?" He asks, irritated by the time consuming description. Although it's from a harsh demand, clueless Lenz snaps out of his fantasy and nods.

"Her name is Maria Costa, a transfer student from Italy," Lenz said nonchalantly. Wait… ITALY?!

_Italy?!_ Germany repeats, _wait… an Italian girl! What would I do to help Lenz in achieving his goal? I can't help him flirt with a girl who originates from the country who can flirt! Does that make any sense? Why couldn't he pick Francis Bonnefoy o-or someone else! Why meeeee?_ Germany panics in the inside, trying to make a choice to either try to suicide in front of the boy so he won't have to encounter him again or barf on the boy's shoes and run away. Neither of the choice would get less attention to the German. His choices are either making a fool of himself or pretending to die. _There's no exit… I can't get away from this situation! I can't believe I'm actually helping him with this! Whew… calm down Germany, be happy that Bruder is not here to laugh at you. _

After what seems to be sweating for three minutes, Germany finally forced himself to agree and help Lenz. "O-okay… so, this Maria, do you know where she might be today?" _Wait… If he doesn't know where she is then maybe I can give him three advices and make him use it the next day. Since he doesn't know where I live, he can't track me down! Perfect!_ Germany smile at himself and slowly begins to grin when he saw the boy's eyebrows furrowing.

To Germany's outmost delight, the boy knew exactly where Maria is, "she's probably in the park walking her dog," Lenz said happily.

_SSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT! _Germany mentally shouted at himself. "Do you know where this park is?" Lenz nods at the gloomy German, "o-okay, maybe we could go to that park and figure out ways to help you get her… understood?" Lenz happily nods and leads the way to the park.

Behind the marching happy-go-lucky Lenz, is the suppose Ludwig Beilschmidth, the man who's 'an expert in giving people dating advices. The streets of Berlin looked gloomy that day.

* * *

**At the said park**

"We're here!" Lenz cheered once the two German place their foot on the concrete walkway. The park looks fairly normal, compare to the size. Benches, water fountains, and small parks were set up completely even around the park. Germany, even in this dying situation, seems happy and impress at his people for building such a nice park. Unluckily, his gazing is interrupted by a hard shove from Lenz to go behind a bush.

Once the two are behind the bush, Germany let out a frustrating growl, "Mein Gott, Lenz-"

"Shhhh!" Lenz commands with his finger on his lips, "Maria's in front of us!" German furrows his eyebrows and peer through the rough bush at a black haired girl bending down and patting her canine. Maria didn't seem to be the fashionable Italian type; white tank top, frilly line green skirt that touch two centimetres above her thighs, white socks, and black trainers. Her black hair cascades down her back and her fringe are just right, in the middle and not too long that it would distract her. She doesn't look like a girl from Italy, from what she's wearing. Her looks, that's a whole different story.

_From what I'm seeing, she's not the type for him. _Germany instantly thought, _though…_ Germany slowly turns to his right to find Lenz staring at Maria as if she was an important document. Then, something pops up on the German's mind, "Lenz, how did you know that she's in the park today?"

Lenz begins to fidget with his fingers, "well, I'm actually a close friend of her. We're in the same class and she sits right next to me. At first I didn't like her, but as time goes by I start to develop a feeling towards her, though she still sees me as a friend. And she told me that she always walk her dog on a Saturday" Germany sadly nods and peer back at the girl.

_Okay, I need to make this quick before Italy starts crying for food and Japan gets mad at me for not bringing the food on time. How am I, a German, supposed to give flirting lessons to this guy?! Well Germany, you can't back out of this one can you? A German must jump over every obstacle! _"Okay, let me give you your first tip on flirting," as Germany said those words, Lenz's expression begins to turn serious.

**_Germany's tip number 1: Go casually to her and compliment her on her attire._**

"Say that she looks nice, don't take too long because it might bore her or something. No need to describe everything, just say that she looks pretty! This process would take at least 2.2 seconds!" Germany instantly said. Lenz nods eagerly.

"What should I do after that?" Lenz asks. Germany thought for a moment before announcing his other tip.

**_Germany's tip number 2: If she has a dog with her, compliment her dog second. _**

"Do you know dogs?" Lenz nods, "you must compliment the dog from the eyes to the type of breed it is. Say that the dog looks well groomed and other positive stuff. If the dog looks horrible and not tamed, scold the owner or punch that person in the face! Taking care of their dog is the number one thing the girl must do every day before she takes care of herself. This process will take at least 3 to 4 minutes."

Lenz furrows his eyebrows, "why's talking about the dog tip longer than talking about the girl's appearance?" Germany narrows his eyes and stares at him as if he was stupid.

"A dog's appearance is more important than the girl's appearance!" Len shrinks a little before slowly nodding at the German.

"Erm… what should I do next?" Lenz asks after recovering a little. Another idea smacked Germany that he believes it would be the best idea yet.

**_Germany's tip number 3: Asks her if she's hungry and offer her food from the nearest food stand. Don't forget to buy one for her dog too. _**

"If you look you your right, there is a wurst cart there. Offer her and her dog a wurst whether she likes it or not. If she says she's full, buy one for her dog! If there isn't a wurst stand, then look for a fruits and vegetable store and buy to potatoes. This would make her smile! If those two foods don't work, then tell the girl that she has no taste and introduce her to them."

Lenz begins to grow wary of the German, but those people said that he's a master at these things, so he should do whatever he says. Also, Lenz doesn't have the time and courage to argue with Germany. Instead, he asks another question, "what if she's thirsty?"

**_Germany's tip number 4: If she's thirsty, giver her beer!_**

"Give her beer! That's the number one beverage that should pop in your mind first. Don't think of water, think of beer!" Germany cross his arms and nods his approval. Lenz just stares at him and sweat drops.

"Erm… what if she doesn't want to eat or drink something?" Lenz asks out of curiosity. Surprisingly, Germany's having fun with making up his own unique rules.

**_Germany's tip number 5: Ask her if she wants to walk with you to a military or pet store. Do this step either after she eats and drinks or when she doesn't need to eat and drink. _**

"She must be insane to not be hungry or thirsty in the park! But if she's like that, then offer her to a military or pet store. The military store sells excusive taste in fashion and they have the best information in artillery, war situations, and much more! They also have fine taste in boots!" Germany smiles and nods his approval, "the pet store should supply her dog with food, books about taking care of her dog, and more stuff. You must go to either the military or pet shop on your first day!" Lenz nods unsurely and look back at Maria who's bending down and petting her dog.

Before Lenz could say another word, Germany begins to speak, "no more questions! You're running out of time, now get up and walk up to her!" Germany had checked his watch earlier and found that it has been an hour since he left the three nations in his house. He can't waste any more time!

Lenz, clueless of what's going on, simply got up. As he's about to trudge his way to Maria, Germany stops him. "Do this quick because I need to get back to my house soon!" Germany quickly mutters, "I'll give you my phone number so that you can text me the people who told you about me being a master at… this flirting business." Ohhh, he hasn't forgotten about them!

"But I don't know their names," Lenz scratch his head.

"I don't care about their names, just text me the description after you're done with all of this! Go, quickly! I'm watching you until you finish tip number five."

"Okay, okay!" Germany lets go of Lenz's sleeve before pushing him forward to Maria's view. Once he's just one metre away from her, he begins to talk to her casually from tip one to tip five. Surprisingly, her answers were just as he'd hoped for. She's okay when he talks about her dog more than her, she's in love with wurst so Lenz got to buy her and her dog wurst, and the best part is, she's in love with military wear and would also want to go to a pet shop for her dog. Coincidently, Germany's tips actually worked. From the bush's view, Germany seems pleased of his work and won't forget to text Lenz to never ask him for help nor tell anyone about this day, ever! As Germany got up from the bush, he secretly waved bye to Lenz before happily walking to the supermarket. Though, his smile didn't last long.

The one text from Lenz to Germany made the German man buy extra knives while looking for food in the supermarket. The German also bought an extra sharp cheese grater, super glue, two kilos of beef, pasta for Italy, salmon for Japan, a kilo of salt, and duct tape. He also made a phone call in asking England if he could come over to cook diner, also insisting him to bring France and Spain to his house. Although England did not understand why the German asks for his presence, he anyways obliges and brings the two said nations to Germany's house. What happens next you ask? Well, there was a lot of filming, vomiting, knives, and the ambulance was very rich on that night.

Lenz's text to Ludwig Beilschmidth:

_Danke for everything you've taught me Herr Beilschmidth! After the military and pet shop, I confessed my feelings to Maria! I didn't know I would be able to do it, but I did! It turns out, she like me back and that she thinks that we could start dating or something! This is the best day of my life! _

_As promised, here are the descriptions of the three men whom I heard you from:_

_One man had shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes and a beard. He seemed to talk in a French accent and was dangling from this other man who had brown hair and eyes. He looked somewhat Spanish and was holding a tomato on his hand. This other man had unique silver hair and red eyes, an albino I presume. He had a small yellow bird on top of his head and he held a glass of beer on his right while his left hand was holding on the blond. The three guys seem to be drunk and came out from the bar. They were talking about you and I was desperate for your advice. _

_Anyways, thank you again, Herr Beilschmidth! I'll try to not ask for help in a relationship again!_

_Lenz _

* * *

**Me: Hello! I hope you liked the fanfic! A couple of translations will be announced by none other than *drum roll please* Germany!**

**Germany: BRUDER!**

**Me: okay... so Germany's b****usy with killing his brother right now... can someone else do it? I don't know German**

**Ita****ly: But you wrote this story? Veh! **

**Me: ... fine! If this is wrong, blame Google translate! Mein Gott= My God, Entschuldigung= I'm sorry, Herr= Mr, and Danke= thanks or thank you. Is that all?**

**Japan: I am guessing that is all...**

**Me: Okay-wait, why are you guys eating such nice food while watching Germany feed Spain, France, and Prussia England's food?**

**Japan: I'm recording. **

**Me: I see... Oh, forgot to mention something! Before we talk about the next country, I have a special announcement to make-**

**Italy: Are we going to eat more pasta?**

**Me: no. Stop interrupting! **

**Italy: veh... sorry.**

**Me: *sighs* okay, so there's a poll going on in my profile that lets you, the readers, chose what hetalia Character would you want to feature on this fanfic! **

**Japan: You can chose up to two characters from the list. **

**Me: right Japan! There's up to 53 characters! Remember, you can only chose once! Chose wisely! **

**Germany: Hm... England, would scones taste good as juice? *evil grin***

**England: wha- actually, I don't know. Why don't you let them try?**

**France, Spain, Prussia: NOOOOO!**

**Prussia: West, we were drunk and we don't know any better! SPARE US, MEIN GOTT!**

**Italy: Veh! Germany seems to have fun! *munch on pasta***

**Japan: Miss Hungary would love this. **

**Me: Okay... time to introduce our next character! It's your favourite British gentlemen/pirate/mage/angel/drunkard/scone lover/-**

**England: okay, okay! Enough with the name...please.**

**Me: Fine. Give it up for England everyone!**

**England: thank you. I'll see you next chapter everyone- Frog, stop weeping on my trousers! You're just eating scones for Queen's sake!**

**France: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !- *Barf* **

**Me: Better call the ambulance again. Wow, they're getting rich tonight!**

**England: MY SHOES!**


End file.
